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THE CONDESCENDING MUSER

If one is to believe everything one reads, there is more than a little bit of pique within our merry little band of fanciers. I will attempt to capsulize the various positions on the various subjects, which I might add, carry all the importance of the question of who our next vice president will be.

THE ST LOUIS SHOW SITE - What do you mean Kansas City?! What the hell happened to St. Louis? You mean the hotel was condemned? Who ever heard of building an airport on top of a hotel? Certainly sounds like a conspiracy to me. It's probably all for the best. I mean it could be really tough to get that phony black stuff on the dog's muzzle with a 737 going over your head. Kansas City sounds nice. Great steaks, friendly folks, nice clean city. What makes it most attractive is that it makes folks who never came to ABC and won't come now that it's in KC feel good that those uppity easterners now have to drive eighteen hours to get to the show. As for the uppity easterners, this move will make them feel really good when the show fails to pull a three point major because they sure as hell won't drive eighteen hours to a dog show. Does that pretty well sum it up?

NATURAL EARED DOGS (CHAPTER 46) - To crop or not to crop, to excuse or not to excuse, to attribute as much penalty to natural ears as to flatulance exceeding 23 decibels. "I prefer cropped ears but I don't mind if you don't." Come ON now. It's time to get off the fence in the "Pro-Ear" vs "Pro-Choice" debate. While discussing this, could we also work in a discussion regarding the raiding of Social Security as well as the government charging postal rates for internet use. It's time to get all these serious problems out in the open. At any rate, we must be vigilant in the defense of ears. Perhaps the solution is to set up varieties within our breed. We could have a cropped eared variety and a natural eared variety. The Cocker people do it to extreme (ASCOB indeed!!!). Think about it, but not too long.

CASH PRIZES AWARDED IN THE RING - This is an area wherein the radical element seems to hold sway. Many of the wild-eyed ones suggest that the owner who has invested enormous amounts of time, money, blood, sweat and tears should actually be the one to receive the cash prize. What is this world coming to?! Who in the hell do the proletariat think they are? Just keep them cards and envelopes coming, sweet thing. All is well with the world.

ANY OTHER SUBJECT THAN SEX - Any other subject than sex has no compelling interest for this writer and deserves no further examination. It is time to join the chat room and the discussion on the social significance of "Deep Throat." Last one in is a pedophile.