We had planned to enter "Mister" in the Buffalo shows a
long time ago. This was supposed to be a couple of "test
shows" to see if he was ready. He doesn't always LOVE to show
and we were waiting for him to come up to his full potential. The
point is, we'd been waiting for this for a while.
The headache started on Thursday night, when I found out that my 1999
van had blown a head gasket and shouldn't go on long trips. Friday
morning was spent looking for alternative transportation, none of which
was really reasonable. Renting a car was going to be much too
costly. Another option was to go for the Saturday show only and
return with my brother – who already had to cut the trip short due to
unexpected commitments – but the thought of not seeing Mister, or
worse yet, pulling him, was out of the question. The only feasible
option was to drive an hour out of the way and pick up my wife's
car. Unfortunately it is a small sporty model left over from her
early mid-life crisis (when she became a mom and got a tattoo and a
sports car – temporary insanity). MUCH too small a transport
vehicle for a comfortable trip with a 70 pound Boxer.
OK, dilemma solved and off we went. Fortunately for Mister, who lives
with my brother, he got to ride in my brothers much roomier Volvo.
We recently discovered a shortcut to our mentor's house (which was near
the show site), shaving about 1/2 hour and $20 in tolls from our 5 1/2
hour trip. This route was a much more beautiful trip than the NY
State Thruway – with mountains and valleys and stretches of deserted
highway overlooking small northern snow-covered towns. Wonderful
ride.
Our dog got his doors blown off both days of the show, placing third
in his class of three. There's your obligatory heartache.
You grow to accept and even expect defeat at dog shows. No big
shake as they say. The people we met and the friendships that were
strengthened have value that far exceeds ribbons. Rosettes would be nice
though.
As I said, my brother and partner in crime was forced to leave after
the Saturday show, and taking the new "back route," was home
in under 5 hours and before sunset. Me? I stuck around until
2:30 on Sunday since Boxers were not on until 1pm. Ironically (and
for the sake of adding a little foreshadowing), I had earlier had
problems getting my wife's car to turn over in the cold Buffalo morning
air, and I had turned to a friend and remarked at how I NEVER have car
problems.
After the show on Sunday, I hit the road, and after a McDonald's
hamburger and large diet soda, I was on my way. Of course I
decided to take the short way home hoping to be able to tuck the kids in
at bedtime. The shortcut's hilly and twisty road had areas that
were slushy and some that were downright icy, but nonetheless completely
manageable. I decided after about 30 minutes that I might be best
served to stop and get a gallon of windshield washer fluid. I
filled up the car – but of course there is always more in the jug than
will fit in the car – so into the backseat it went, next to the CRATED
70 pound Boxer. Yes, I had actually managed to get the crate in
the car, open it, and persuade my dog to get into it. A rather
funny sight. Pulling away from the Quick-Mart I made note that it
seemed hard to get the car into gear. Oh well, onward - only 4 1/2
hours to go!
The shifting problem worsened and it soon became painfully obvious
that I had blown my clutch. I was now stuck in 3rd gear and faced
with hills and snow and slush and ice, not to mention stop-signs and red
lights. After some quick thinking and a phone call to dear
old dad (since I was of course without a map!), I figured out how to get
to the thruway and decided that once there, I could force it into 5th
gear and cruise home without stopping. No easy task though as I
still had 25 miles of hills and towns with red lights before I could get
to the highway. After one wrong turn and an illegal turnaround to get
back on track – then timing several stop signs and red lights
PERFECTLY and really ticking off quite a few fellow drivers – I found
an interstate that led eventually to the thruway, jammed the car into
5th and got it up to cruising speed and remembered that I would still
have to navigate a toll booth or two. THANK GOD for EasyPass, as I
simply left the car in 5th and cruised thru the Tollbooth at more than
SEVEN TIMES the speed limit!!! (They ask for 5mph – HA!)
Home free!!! On the thruway – 325 miles till the next
tollbooth and nothing standing in my way! Or so I thought.
After a few phone calls to let everyone know that the plan had worked
and my ETA, I realized that I had to relieve myself! That large
diet soda was starting to kick in. Well, they used to call me Iron
Bladder in college and I can still hold my own (pardon the pun), so I
decided that I had no choice but to do just that – hold it for 4 1/2
hours.
I lasted about 3 hours. In that three hours, I had devised a
plan that involved an empty Dr. Pepper bottle from Friday night.
However I knew that the hole was too small to avoid disaster and 12
ounces wasn't gonna cut it either! Then I remembered the
windshield washer fluid. I opened the window and dumped about a
half gallon onto the thruway. Of course half of that came back in
the car and got all over me and Mister, but oh well. So at 70
miles per hour, in the dark and the snow, with wind blowing small
animals across the road, I put my pants around my knees, slid the
seat way back and proceeded to thank God I was a man!!! Oh the joy
of relief!
