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 BigDog – BigBigDog,

If I could go back to the day we brought you home I wouldn’t even ask your breeders about your flashy brindle already promised litter-sister because I’d know that you were going to own my heart before supper time that night.  And speaking of that night, if I could go back to the car ride home I wouldn’t bother to tell the rest of the family that you were going to be properly trained to sleep in a crate because I’d know that you were going to spend that night and every night for the next six years sleeping next to me on the bed.

If I could go back to the spring after your first birthday, I wouldn’t yell about the way you kept digging up the newly planted trees and bushes. The pear tree you dug up and dragged to the front yard at least a dozen times is much taller and bears more fruit than the one you left alone and the daylilies you kept dividing produce twice the blooms produced by the lilies you didn’t shred. You were quite a gardener, buddy!

If I could go back to the day we brought that kitten home I wouldn’t scold you for chasing him because I’d know that he was swatting your nose to get you to do it and that by the time he was a year old he wouldn’t run when you did want to chase him. Stupid cat.

If I could hear you drinking your water again, I wouldn’t grouse about how much noise you were making or the mess you made around the water bowl or how often I had to fill it for you because I’d know that a noisy, sloppy, frequent mess was not nearly as depressing as seeing that tidy, quiet corner when I enter the den.

If I could hunt you down in the house again I would still laugh when I found you sitting in the bath tub holding a bar of soap in your mouth.  You didn’t like baths but you sure loved soap!

If I could walk into the den and see you curled up in my chair again, I wouldn’t crab at you for being there because now I know how much I hate sitting in a cold chair.

If I could have one thing I really want for Christmas – I’d have you back. Healthy and whole without the fear that this would be the day, week, or month we’d have to start learning to live without you in our lives.  And if I could have two things I really wanted for Christmas, researchers would unlock the mysteries of BCM so good dogs might not die so damn young.

"Timber"
Marda’s Move It Or Lose It
December 31, 1998 – December 15, 2004

Vicki Vance
Hidden Hill Farm