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IDLE MUSINGS…
by Dick Johnson, Jodi Boxers
SORRY, SOLOMAN’S NOT AVAILABLE, WILL I DO?
During these troubled times, when the weight of the world rests on
the bowed shoulders of the governing body of the American Boxer Club, it
seems appropriate that a person of great acuity and insight pass along
words of guidance and counseling to ease the way to a more perfect union
of the getters and the got. It appears that there are a number of issues
that never seem to go away. They rise to the surface, erupt, then recede
to fester for awhile, only to rise and erupt again. Actually, it’s
rather analogous to a pimple on one’s keister, only more painful. Is
there a solution for these problems? Of course, there is an answer to
each and every quandary and dilemma. Leave us take a peek at the most
egregious battles in which we are currently engaged and pass along
advice that is germane and , dare I say it, brilliant.
NATURAL VS. CROPPED EARS
How long has this one been going on? Forever plus a day. What’s the
answer, oh great seer and prophet? The answer is so obvious and has been
right in front of our eyes for lo these many moons. The solution is to
totally revise the Boxer Standard regarding ears to read as follows:
"The ears will be cropped. At a point approximately one half of its
total length, the ears will point outward at an angle of 90 degrees
until about ½ inch from the end whereupon the tips will point directly
downward. Any deviation from this requirement will constitute a
disqualifying fault." This change will accomplish two objectives.
It will focus breeders’ undivided attention on the incredibly
important matter of ears as regards the overall quality of the dog.
Secondly, it absolutely assures that our eleven month old pup will be a
lock for Best of Breed at the next ABC Specialty.
REGISTRATION OF WHITE PUPPIES
Put this in the "affirmative action" column. Who do you
think you are, practicing such blatant discrimination? Genetically
defective. Hogwash and horsefeathers!!!
Are we to be ruled by those miscreants who take advantage of the
overwhelming fear of miscegenation of the colors? Do you really know who
your stud dog’s great-great-great grandfather is? Oh sure, the paper
says BangAway, but you’ve probably heard the rumors about the
mysterious "house dog." Think about it and act accordingly.
Genetically defective. Hogfeathers and horsewash!!!
HEALTH TESTING MADE A BREEDING REQUIREMENT
One must examine such a proposal as relating to the UK. Certainly a
noble experiment conducted in a small, controllable environment. Is such
a plan feasible for the US crowd who have trouble deciding on whether
today is Friday or Saturday? There seems only one plausible plan of
attack as regards health testing being a breeding necessity. Legislation
should be passed calling for the seizure and sterilization of any animal
bred without previous health approval. Not only would the animal(s) be
seized and sterilized, but the owners would also be apprehended and
sterilized, thus killing two stones with one bird. Show me a better
motivational tool!!!
The solutions offered above are only meant as guidelines in dealing
with problems that have become chronic. I’m sure that the leaders of
our pack will proceed with due dispatch to lead us to the blue skies and
brilliant sunshine that clear consciences provide. Onward and Upward.
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